Do you know someone suffering from Madame Bovary Syndrome?

Madame Bovary

Gustave Flaubert

published 1856

French classic novel

re-read WEM

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What is Madame Bovary Syndrome? It is a psychological condition named after the female protagonist in Madame Bovary. Philosopher Jules De Gaultier described it as a "chronic dissatisfaction with one's life." Another definition described it as a "shopping disorder." As to the behaviors displayed by Emma Bovary, both descriptions fit. 

But there is more: Madame Bovary syndrome involves escaping reality - a typical coping mechanism - through idealism of religion, memories, reading, music, dreams, passion, romantic love, shopping, and even living through the achievements of others (like one's spouse or child). 

This behavior was commonly present in nineteenth century novels, in which female protagonists suffered from an inability to achieve their coveted desires and were either driven to madness or suicide because there was no solution or a way out of the syndrome. In fact, I am reading Anna Karenina right now, and there are so many similarities to Madame Bovary. 

But, hold on...men are not entirely exempt from Madame Bovary Syndrome.

A short summary (with spoiler)

In the novel, Emma is a young country girl who was married off to a good, kind-hearted widower, Charles Bovary, who genuinely loved Emma very much. He is a mediocre doctor and not well off; also he is rather dull. Emma had expectations that marriage would bring excitement, but Charles was blah and Emma's life felt boring.

When Charles aided an elite patient, the gentleman invited Charles and Emma to his ball to show his gratitude, sort of. For the first time, Emma witnessed how the other half of society lived and imagined it was the world she had been destined, not the passion-less life she was living with Charles. Her disillusions pushed her into depression. Her caring husband thought a change of environment would improve her health, and they moved into town. 

Young Lady in a Boat - Tissot, 1870

Town was no better, but Emma befriended a young clerk, Leon, who shared her passions: music, poetry, art, love -- they had much in common. Leon wanted to pursue a relationship, but Emma restrained herself. She desperately sought assistance through the church, but the priest was useless. 

Emma grew possessive of Leon, eventually chasing him away; he left town to escape her obsessiveness. Needless to say, she was shattered. By this time, Emma and Charles had a daughter. Unfortunately, she neglected her, never truly bonding. (Emma had hoped for a boy because she believed only boys could achieve their dreams and live as they chose.) Unfortunately, like marriage, motherhood was unfulfilling.

But then...enter Rodolphe, a wealthy socialite who set his target on Emma and pursued her. It was not too difficult. He was a smooth talker, and she was hooked. The connection immediately developed into a physical affair, and he eventually became bored of Emma. Their steamy relationship heavily clouded her opinion of her husband and marriage; she disliked everything about Charles. She plotted to run away with Rodolphe, and he pretended to agree; but he left a Dear John letter instead and skipped out of town as quickly as he could. 

Naturally, Emma was devastated and became deeply depressed. To lift her spirits, Charles took Emma to the opera where they ran into...Leon! Charles was either oblivious to Emma's emotional and physical affairs or he encouraged them. He suggested she remain in Rouen to see the opera the following night. Instead she reignited her connection with Leon. For a long time, she lied to maintain their time together and lived like an unpaid prostitute. She also became obsessive and controlling. 

In addition to the affair, Emma's behavior had become more reckless, like a drug addict. She spent money on credit to buy frivolous things that she thought would bring her happiness and contentment. She plunged her husband into debt, with no way to pay it off unless she turned herself into a prostitute, as her lawyer had suggested. 

Since she could not pay off her financial debt -- nor would her unsuspecting husband be able to save her once he found out -- she decided death was the only way out. 

No more spoilers

Now, this may seem very one-sided, but it is not. The men in this story have their own issues. For one, while Charles was a good, kind man who did love Emma, he was quite ignorant of her needs and he did not understand her. Or he was too stupid to comprehend. In Scripture, a husband is supposed to know his wife in an understanding way. That means he needs to make time and an effort to figure her out, know her desires and feelings, and never quit until it is clear. 

Either he was truly blind about her affairs or he knew he was incompetent as Emma's husband and, therefore, encouraged her to maintain the illicit relationships because he could not make her happy. But probably it was the first idea. He was a LAZY husband who did not rise to the occasion to be a capable husband. While her affairs were forbidden, so too, he did not keep his vows. 

I do not want to get into how constricted Emma's life was because she was a 19th century woman. At one point she had a child, and that was not enough for her. She was still chasing what was not her reality. She was in the wrong, Charles was wrong; in fact, every character in Madame Bovary was wrong. 

Also, as I suggested, Madame Bovary syndrome is not just for women. Charles suffered from his own desire to escape reality. Before Emma, he had developed obsessions for pleasure. And maybe marrying Emma was also part of his seeking happiness through his attractive young wife. He couldn't wait to get rid of his late-wife's wedding bouquet to make room for Emma. Even after Emma's death, he developed interests in all pursuits Emma was interested, albeit too late. He also initially avoided reading the love letters from her lovers. He preferred to keep a particular image of Emma -- the ideal image he had created in his mind. 

Finally, there was another man who suffered from Madame Bovary syndrome before it had a name: Gustave Flaubert. Yep! According to the author, he was the inspiration for Emma, having experienced disillusions of life, love, romance, happiness, relationships, and the like. 

None of this is surprising to me, and I bet everyone experiences some disillusionment of life in some way or at some point. I know I have. A lot! True -- books, movies, music, idols, even pride, and self-importance can mislead us into false expectations. We create romantic illusions and passions which reality cannot compare, setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure. We falsely believe others have it better than us, and we covet their lives. 

The only remedy for MB syndrome

The only solution, the only remedy for Madame Bovary syndrome is the gospel. Yep!! Bottom line! There is no other reality cleanser better than knowing who Christ is and where you stand in relation to Him. There are no disillusions with Him. And most of all, our desires for something better stem from a missing relationship with Him. He fulfills that longing. 

Knowing where you came from, where you are going when you die, and that Jesus Christ died for you is a life changer. I always think about how a relationship with Christ would have changed the characters in the books I read. Surely, Charles would have been a present and attentive husband; Emma would have spared her marriage, her daughter, and her own life by finding contentment in her relationship in Christ, regardless how incompetent her husband was; Rodolphe and Leon would respected women; the priest would have been of better service to others; the pharmacist would have been an honest man, etc. 

Final parting words

This is an excellent novel, well written, never boring. Flaubert's characters are comical in a serious way, like caricatures. This may not be a plot many can relate, thankfully, but it certainly is a relatable issue. Flaubert used a woman as his example to demonstrate social inequalities (of his time), but what Emma Bovary suffered from is the human heart defect that both men and women experience even today when they pursue fleeting happiness in all the wrong people, places, and material things. Until they find the Truth, they will always end up disappointed and disillusioned in life. 

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