Eve in Exile by Rebekah Merkle

Eve in Exile

And the Restoration of Femininity

Rebekah Merkle

Published 2016

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

WHAT EVER DID GOD MAKE WOMEN FOR? 

This is one of the multitude of questions Rebekah Merkle answers in Eve in Exile. She contends that modern day feminists have led women to a "boring dead end," and even feminists no longer understand what they are demanding. However, Christian women are not doing any better by "escaping" and "romanticising" the past, as a way to combat current feminism. Holding nothing back, Merkle offers an encouraging, victorious argument for (Christian) women by presenting our biblical calling and feminine attributes. It's time to "bring Eve back from exile."

God has called women to change the world through the gospel. Men cannot do this job alone if women are distracted. We have come to believe the lie that being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is a trap compared to the working/career woman, who experiences absolute fulfillment.

Scripture is clear that those who focus on saving their own lives will lose it; whereas, those who lay down their lives for others will find fulfillment. And yet, the world tells us that women who pursue their own dreams are the winners. Furthermore, it is not men telling women what to do. We have liberty, and we do this to ourselves.

Merkle includes a short overview of the history of feminism: overall, the message was to divorce women from the responsibility of fertility. Men were free from accountability of children, and it wasn't fair for a woman to remain celibate if she had to avoid pregnancy; hence birth control and abortion, which provided "the emancipation from restrictive biology."

After WWII, housewives became discontent. America had a technological growth spurt and modern day conveniences made work efficient and simple. Work became demeaning and women complained, bored of the technological blessings. While women of the 50s were not oppressed, the ideals for women became superficial. 

Betty Friedan taught that women would be happier to leave hubby, kids, and home and pursue education or their own career. This idea was embraced wholeheartedly; but was Friedan right? Did it cure discontentment? 

There is more evidence to support that women are less happy than ever. I am leaving out the details that Merkle includes, including how many women take antidepressants today (not to mention the divorce rates, counseling, stress and anxiety, etc.). Merkle states that what women truly needed was not a sexual revolution or careers, but God's grace. 

The idealistic, superficial shallow view of homemaking of the 50s needed to be chucked. It was a lie. 

To be fair, feminism sought to address essential issues:  

• education of women
• end of slavery
• drunk husbands and fathers as social ills
• voting and citizen rights
• end back-alley abortions 
• superficial ideal of housewife in the 50s as wrong
• pornography and prostitution are both social ills.

However, today's third wave feminism - no one really knows what it stands for - is just a lot of angry women, lacking cohesive objectives. All of feminism's intentions have already been accomplished; all that is left is to erase femininity completely.  Today's feminists embrace, approve, and celebrate many of the destructive practices that first and second wave feminism brought to light. This is absolutely backwards and confusing, especially the part where they are now advocating for transgenderism, men using women's restrooms, and men ruining sports for women indefinitely! But I digress. 

SO WHAT ARE WOMEN DESIGNED FOR?

Work is GOOD. "God did not create Eve so Adam could have someone pretty to look at." Eve was made to help Adam subdue AND fill the earth. God designed women to be interesting. We were not created to be unable to think or speak for ourselves.

Women were designed to sacrifice for others, as we are natural caregivers. That is why replacing the work of caring for home and family with a career cannot make women happy. Also, the corporate world is the wrong setting. This is where women feel cooped up and forced to compete with men. 

Women were designed for motherhood, but feminism separates women from their natural creation purpose. We were designed for a specific role with fixed limits on our feminine nature, and we must live within these boundaries while honoring God's intention. 

We need to return to our abandoned stations and guard them by manning and securing our own homes, families, and lives, disciplining ourselves through faithfulness, obedience, and sacrifice. "Mothers are raising the next generation of souls forever." 

Merkle points out that just because there is an obvious difference between two things does not imply that one is better than the other. Feminists hate that women and men are different with complementary roles. 

The author examines 1 Corinthians 2 and explains how this verse is not about inferiority or superiority, but rather that men and women are equal in the Lord. She shows how submission out of love and servitude gloriously resembles Christ. "Submitting to one's OWN husband is the most powerful, magnificent, intoxicating, concentrated picture of glory. When a woman submits to her husband, then glory grows. When a woman rejects submission, glory fades." 

The fruit of feminism is rotten to its core and barren; its beauty diminished. Women presenting themselves as sex objects or celebrating their sexual "liberty,' which is not the way the woman was created to share herself with her husband, is ugly. Sexual slavery is the standard in our culture today, and women falsely believe they are finally in control of their lives because they bypassed the submission part. 

Running away from the scriptural requirement to submit to one man, as an equal, within the protection of marriage, has resulted in women living in submission to numerous men, with no protection at all, and with her bearing the entire weight of responsibility for the outcome. The fruit of this lifestyle must either be killed or she must raise the child alone. 

The Titus Two Woman: Women WITH households (tend to be married and with children) are called to RUN THEIR OWN HOUSEHOLDS. "Women managing their own households are cities on a hill," raising up the next generation, passing down their wisdom to younger women, and impacting the rest of the world. 

Feminism is just rebelliousness against God's creation, design, and command to women to help fill the earth, preferring sexual freedom from accountability and presenting birth control and abortion as basic human rights. 

WHAT ARE WOMEN TO DO? 

Christian women need to recover a sense of importance of the home, and being wives and mothers. Recognize that feminism focuses on the group - womankind - and its first duty is to thyself. A married woman's priority is to her home, husband, and family. If her work extends beyond the home and family, it should return in blessings to her husband and children, not take away from them. 

A woman chasing her own dreams, beauty, and pleasure suffers loss of fulfillment. SAHM need to change their perspective about their work, challenge themselves to think creatively, and go beyond doing the bare minimum. "But to whom much is given, much is required." Consider how materially blessed we are. 

We have been given talents, and we need to turn a profit; invest what God has given to us. Pursue excellence. Improve, create, and build. Glorify God with your attitude. Be an influencer instead of being influenced. Ask God to show you how to turn a profit with what He has given you. 

The home is essential work and God wants women to tend to it.The home is power: it nurtures, feeds, provides rest, safety, and a pleasant atmosphere, gives shelter, and fosters loyalty. Don't bury your talents. "Working outside the home is not prohibited so long as it makes the home more potent, glorious, compelling."

"When Christian women trust God and obey Him, He will never trick us." Women influence the world by making it attractive, pleasant, and good. How many have been lured by the lies of false beauty? Our job is to make holiness beautiful. We draw people to the truth by showing beauty in Christ. 

This is difficult, I know, but the author says: If you "lay [your] dreams down, He gives [you] fulfillment. Bury [your] own ambition, and He returns it with interest." 

Imitate God in [y]our fruitfulness. It will look like what God shows [you] is beauty, not [y]our ridged expectations. Be the glory of your husband. Build your house. Work hard. Be ambitious and productive. Learn more, run harder. Use the gifts God has given you, the desires he has given you, the constraints he has given to you, and figure out how to weave those into something glorious, unique, compelling, special, beautiful that cannot be contained and beckons a broken world to come and see that that Lord is good.

* * *

This book targets women, particularly Christian women, and obviously wives and mothers, although there is a message for singles. It is a difficult topic and requires a change in thinking. This is about obedience, and we do not have the right to ignore God's commands or adopt the world's ways. All of us will be held to account for our  disobedience in this area. The author makes clear that every woman has different talents and is in unique circumstances, and her work will look completely different than everyone else's. It is your challenge to find out how to tend to your garden by obeying God and glorifying Him in the role He has given you. By trusting and obeying Him, we not only find fulfillment, but the return will be multiplied.

I understand many women, including Christians, will disagree with Merkle. However, I believe she is correct because she uses Scripture to support her arguments; and we can't change God's intentions and commands. 

I also did not go into my own marriage and motherhood knowing any of this. I chose to stay home with my kids out of a natural desire to be with them. It was not easy living on one income, and we had some difficult financial years. But I would never exchange being home for a "rewarding career or job or even my own business." Managing a home, raising five kids, homeschooling, and being married to a low maintenance husband is enough for me. Even still, Merkle convicted me because I realize I am not always putting in 100% of myself. I can be lazy and selfish, too. I still have a lot of work to do. So for me, this was definitely an excellent read. I hope other women will find it encouraging as well.